Any dramatic game the producers want us to take seriously as a
representation of contemporary reality cannot be taken seriously as a
representation of anything -- except a game to be ignored by anyone
capable of sitting upright in a chair and chewing gum simultaneously.
-- Richard Schickel (slightly modified)

... Now you're ready for the actual shopping. Your goal should be to
get it over with as quickly as possible, because the longer you stay in
the mall, the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs
on the mall public-address system, and many of these songs can damage
children emotionally. For example: "Frosty the Snowman" is about a
snowman who befriends some children, plays with them until they learn
to love him, then melts. And "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is about
a young reindeer who, because of a physical deformity, is treated as an
outcast by the other reindeer. Then along comes good, old Santa. Does
he ignore the deformity? Does he look past Rudolph's nose and respect
Rudolph for the sensitive reindeer he is underneath? No. Santa asks
Rudolph to guide his sleigh, as if Rudolph were nothing more than some
kind of headlight with legs and a tail. So unless you want your
children exposed to this kind of insensitivity, you should shop
quickly. -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to
see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. -- Shirley Temple